Yoga and Meditation 2: Yoga Strikes Back

I described in yesterday’s post how I took a yoga class in college. After twenty minutes or so of stretching, we listened to a relaxation / meditation tape that guided us through a visualization exercise that involved building a sand castle on the beach. Remember, I am in a state of quiet in a large room with about forty other people who are also in quiet states of meditation. At this point, I have totally bought into the visualization process and I am enjoying my time at the beach. The sound of the waves is soothing and calming. I build my sandcastle. I am joined by some kids that are playing on the beach. We are laughing and having fun shaping the sandcastle.

Then I notice there is something in the sand. At first I think it’s a fluffy green towel that someone left out on the beach, but as I uncover it, I find that not only is it fairly spongy, it’s also massive. I look up to tell the kids who are still working on the sandcastle, but they are all staring up into the sky, with horrific masks of terror on their little faces. I turn to look, but the ground shifts beneath me as the green fluffy area blasts out of the ground almost entirely unlike a towel, and hurls itself into the sky. It reveals itself to be a giant green muppet hand, attached to an equally giant green muppet. This thing is at least 200 feet tall, and it looks down upon me in total muppet rage, like I just canceled “Sesame Street”. I scream the kind of scream one can only make when attacked by a gigantic muppet.


I leap up from my yoga mat to find that everyone in the room is now staring at me. The laid-back-granola-lady yoga instructor looks at me with the look of concern that only an aging hippie and Jimmy Carter can give.

“What happened?” she asked.
“I was attacked by a gigantic muppet.” I replied.

I was taken aside at the end of the class and told that because I was such a creative individual, I was most likely very good at self-hypnosis, and that it would be a good idea for me to take a fencing class instead. Which I did. I believe that after twenty years, I am ready to try meditation once again. I will let you know if I am attacked by anything.
I’m feeling more relaxed already.