I think Skittles are probably the perfect gamer snack. Yeah, I know they’re candy and aren’t really a part of the stupid food pyramid, but if you’ve been gaming all day and you’ve still got hours of gaming until you sleep, Skittles are the way to go.

First of all, Skittles don’t get your hands all sticky. I suppose they would if you left them in your sweaty palms for ten minutes while you agonized over which one of the two cards you have left in your hand would be better to play, but if that’s the case, you’re an idiot anyway. I once thought Cheetos would be the worst gamer snack when it came to getting stuff on your fingers that would get on the game, but I mentioned this to my friend John and he said that ribs would be worse. Well, yeah, ribs would be worse, but who in the hell eats ribs while playing a boardgame? Honey? Bring me some more of those ribs, would ya? I’ve got to take my turn in Puerto Rico.

Skittles also are pretty sturdy and don’t leave crumbs or little bits on the table. So even if Mark Jackson gets excited and dumps a his Skittles all over Alea Iacta Est, it really doesn’t matter. You just pick them up and move on with the game. The dice in the game are pretty brightly colored so be careful that you don’t eat some of the game, but you would have to be pretty tired to do that, or maybe just oxygen deprived. I suppose you can smash a Skittle if you try hard enough, but if you’re spending your time smashing Skittles, well, good luck on the whole life thing.

There’s also the great sugar rush that Skittles provide, and it’s a pure rush of sugar that’s not really complicated or bogged down with things like texture or flavor. Sure, M&Ms are tasty and all, but chocolate starts to border on food, while a Skittle is like rocket fuel. Yes, you will eventually crash, but how else are you going to get through a game of Hansa Teutonica at 2:30 AM?

Roll a d12 and taste the rainbow.

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