Lottery Confessions

I bought a lottery ticket today. It’s not something I usually do, but I needed it today. You see, when I buy a lottery ticket, I’m spending $1.00 on a daydream. I have taught probability and I am fully aware of how monstrously unlikely it is that I will win millions of dollars; however, I do occasionally spend a buck on the dream of winning. I can’t really dream that dream if I don’t buy the ticket.

I would be the worst kind of millionaire. Sure, I would take care of my family and make sure my kids had enough for college and houses, but not so much that they ended up being slacker bums. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be long before I was filling bathtubs with whipped cream and hang-gliding drunk. I just know I would be a total looney-toon in under a year.

I’ll tell you what would be great though. I could pay people to play games. It’s impossible for me to get anyone to play anything. Even that would be bad though. I would eventually tire of my entourage and then make them dress up as smurfs and hit each other with lunch meat, before I fired them for talking too much.

Still, the dreams are worth a buck.

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